Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Cha cha cha changes

So far 2008 is The Year of Change.

We found out that we have to move when we paid January rent. It's all fairly boring zoning changes, commercial space, no C of O & blah blah blah. Bottom line? We have to move. We've been in this place going on seven years. And as much as I have complained about drafty windows, doors banging in the hallway, heavy walking neighbors, more than gentle sloping floors, no bath tub, no doors etc....I'm going to miss this place. When I first moved in, it was just me and my dogs. Fairly quickly followed by R and the kitty. It's the kind of place when I was young and dreamed of NYC I imagined everyone lived in. High ceilings, kind of industrial (as my Mom describes it, "it doesn't look like much from the outside, but once you get in, it's nice!") lots of windows and light and big wide open s p a c e. It makes the first closet posing as an apartment I lived in look like a palace.

After getting over the shock of omg we have to move, translate to 'we have to get rid of lots and lots and LOTS of shit,' and feeling like a bit of an asshole for ever complaining about this place, I kind of got excited at the thought of a fresh start somewhere new.

We've been through so much in this place. Lots of extremes. And inbetweens. Really high highs and the lowest lows. We watched two towers fall, not on television like most of the world, but literally in our backyard. We lost a grandfather, a great uncle and a great uncle who was like a grandfather. We planned our wedding in this place. We hosted lots of really great celebrations here. Friends getting married, friends newly married, milestone birthdays, NYC bloody mary-thons, drink-everything-in-the-liquor-cabinet brunches, a spontaneous "WHAT? Whadaya mean you never played quarters?" game, and we rang in many a New Year. Davis' first birthday party - number one on the celebration list. The first time I ever cooked my Granny's chicken 'n dumplings (for TEN people, what was I thinking?) was here and they were yummy, phew. We first said good-bye to two loved dogs, and then quickly had to say good-bye to two very wanted very loved babies. We holed up and wished we could just disappear after losing Tess and Oliver. We only left here when we absolutely had to. This was the only place that felt safe, just the two of us, alone, for a very long time. While I can't say we're over losing our babies, because we will never be over it, I can say we've healed a bit and the two of us are stronger than either of us could have imagined. I spent 10 weeks in bed here pregnant with Davis and then six more in the hospital dreaming of coming back here. Of course I never allowed myself to imagine her here until we walked through the door. Home. I will never forget that day, the day we brought our baby HOME.

We've found a new place. One with two real bedrooms with doors and walls that reach the ceiling. Not one but two real bathrooms, one complete with a tub for Boo. And, excuse me while I muffle the Hallelujah Chorus so you don't miss this, a FULL SIZED washer and dryer. Can I get an AMEN! Just when you think it could not get any better, well let's throw in a parking spot. This perk will be lost on those of you not concerned with alternate side parking. I'll just say not having to move your car to other side of the road 4 out of 7 days a week rates right up there with a dishwasher and W/D. We won't talk about the rent. It is the only down side. And my glass is lookin' pretty damn full right now. So I'm chalking it up to this: for seven years we lived in a HUGE space for nuthin' (NYC standard of nuthin') Our landlords raised the rent once during that run, and even then the increase was only 3% which is basically rent control rates. We had a great time while the party lasted.

I'm sad to leave my neighbors. Two in particular. One big and one small. But then not so sad to leave the ones with whom things got uncomfortably uncomfortable. A little space there has been needed for a long time...and I can't say I'm hopeful it will change anything, but my forever motto is kicking my ass on this one. "Two words to use with caution or maybe better to refrain using all together: Always and Never." And I think that could apply.

Moving On. Moving Forward. I can feel the change already. It's lighter. Both in weight and in brightness.

And as if THAT wasn't enough change! I'm starting a new job March 4. So very very excited by this. It actually kind-of-sort-of fell in my lap. I was just about to update my portfolio, gearing up for a new job search when I had lunch with a friend. She happens to work for an old freelance client of mine. And wham bam! I have a job offer and a hefty salary increase, which is nice timing for the above rent increase that not so ironically starts at the same time. Outside of the extra cash and change of scenery, there are lots of things that make this job awesome. 1. I know these people. Well. I've worked for them and with them, and a few of them for me. So there is none of that feeling of What have I done? Or fear of the unknown. 2. I did not have to show my (not-updated) portfolio! The downside of which is that I do not have an updated portfolio. But the procrastinating Gemini in me is ok with that. 3. End of 2008 their offices are moving down town...possibly only 5 stops on the train away. And that's ONE train instead of the two trains I take now. 4. It's taking me back to what I love to do, and I think I can confidently say after 17 years of work, I do well.

To put the cherry on top of my good news, R's top secret project is oh so very close to being OUT THERE. Which means that I can almost talk about it. This has been a very very very hard secret to keep. Especially when the end product exceeds my wildest dream of how cool it could be.

It's feeling like the Universe is on our side again. For real. This feeling started when Davis was born. My faith just a little bit restored. Feeling like I had hit the ceiling with my current (for two more weeks) job and then finding out we had to move, ooof, it was a sock in the belly. But somehow it all turned on dime quickly. Even going through the painful moving process feels exciting and positive. Time to purge. Out with the old, in with the new.

Now if I could just come up with six really lucky numbers...