Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Time to slow down and breathe.

I was walking home from work tonight and as I scrambled up the subway steps and raced down the sidewalk my head was full of stuff rattling around. Voices. Lists. Images.

I have three short blocks to walk from the subway entrance to my building. Halfway home I crossed the street and walked passed a figure. A few steps more and I heard someone say my name. “Who could that be?” I thought. I turned around it was a very baffled R. Yes, my husband. I walked right by him. It’s not like it’s easy to miss him. He’s 6’5” and (IMO) the foxiest man in Brooklyn. I think he thought I was joking. Sadly I was so in my head that I honestly did not see him.

I think my head has been this full since R and I started trying to have a baby. That’s now been 5 years. How many people have I passed-and-not-seen on the street in the last five years? Who has been sitting next to me on the train that thought I was just ignoring them? Hmmmmm.

I think this noise in my head is the reason I haven’t written the Spring Cleaning Part 2 Post that I need/promised to write even though it’s now Summer. Maybe if I get it all typed out in words I can truly begin to let some things go...move on like I desperately want to do. And breathe again. Deep full breaths. Enjoy the the things that I encounter along the way. Especially the 6’5” ones.


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