Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Did you hear that?

It went ba-boom ba-boom ba-boom ba-boom.

It woke me up in the middle of the night. It didn't take me long to realize it wasn't an explosion like I first thought, it was my heart beating wildly in my chest. I don't think I had been completely sound asleep. But man I was AWAKE now. My mind was racing. The "doesn'ts" had come to visit and they were not leaving.

What if this cycle doesn't work?
What if the mta doesn't come to an agreement and there is a transit strike ON THE DAY OF MY TRANSFER?

What if this cycle doesn't work?
What if the mta doesn't come to an agreement and there is a transit strike ON THE DAY OF MY TRANSFER?

What if this cycle doesn't work?
What if the mta doesn't come to an agreement and there is a transit strike ON THE DAY OF MY TRANSFER?

This went on and on and on and on until (almost) the break of dawn.
I tried to breathe deeply, which worked for a millisecond. I tried my meditation CD...and ended up cracking myself up with the snarky thoughts that popped into my brain. No, I won't release that distracting thought and let it float away "like leaves on a stream"

And then the S N O R I N G started. I ever so gently touched R's arm. I mean I barely touched him and he stopped. "That was easy" I thought, until it started up again. I touched his arm gently and once again he stopped immediately. This went back and forth for at least an hour. To the point where I was starting to think R was just fucking with me. It made me mad and it made me laugh.

Somewhere in there I got 15 minutes more of sleep before my alarm went off.

When I got out of bed, thankfully the doesn'ts had gone away.

4 Comments:

Blogger davispigeon said...

I would SO have woken him up...you are much nicer than me.
'Course I have been known to be seriously ill or in tears and NOT wake up T.
Snoring though. I hate that.

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thinking of you tomorrow. and hoping you don't have to hitchhike there.

i'll email you over the weekend. you can write back from bed.
xo
jacks

8:52 PM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

Much luck today for your transfer!

D snores too and most of the time a gentle touch shuts it off, but I've had nights like that where it goes on and on. I normally break at about 20 minutes and push him hard to make him change positions. You're such a good wife to not wake him up.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Rolyn said...

I'm sure those were snores of love. Rolyn is such a saint it couldn't possibly have been anything else.

You are so lucking to have him.

Maybe you should buy him a Sony PSP, that way if he love snores again you could just have him play that for a little while until you can fall asleep?

Well, all the best.

12:20 PM  

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