Bed Rest. Day FIVE.
I'm posting this a day late. Yesterday was not a party and it was far from uneventful.
I woke early in the a.m. with a lower back ache. Exactly the same lower back ache I had the first night in the hospital last year. You know, the one that indicated my cervix was opening. Got up to pee. No blood, no strange discharge. phew. 'Deep breath, deep breath, deeeeeeeeeeeeep breath. This is probably nothing. You're just freaking out. It could be just your imagination. It's so freaking early. Go. Back. To. Sleep. Wait, go drink some gaotrade, take half a percoset (dr. approved) and then try to relax.' I did all these things and it seemed to work. I woke up several hours later and felt fine, great really. R woke up and got busy organizing and helping fix my bed rest set up. I got busy and finished some work that I didn't get to last week. All was just a-ok.
But. In the back of mind, under all the ok feelings, there was still the chatter, the doubting Heather, and she would NOT. SHUT. UP. Deep breath. deeeeeeep breath.
R left to go to a friend's bbq birthday...not wanting to really leave me, but I insisted. So he left and then the contractions started.
The chatter was now more of a scream in my head. The deep breaths were losing their power. I kept pounding the water, pounding the gatorade. Desperately trying not to have a full blown anxiety attack. I took a hot shower. Isn't that what people do when they are in the early stages of labor? OMG. Get out of the shower. Get back off my feet. Deep breath, deeeeeeeeeep breath. Ok. Debate, do I call R and freak him the fuck out in the middle of a party? I'm positive he will tell me to call the doctor immediately. So I opt to do that first. Then it occurrs to me that she will probably want me to come to the hospital NOW. I'm over that 20 week mark where they can give me drugs to stop the contractions (if they are REALLY happening) So rather than wait, I call R on his cell. The conversation went something like this:
H: Hi.
R: Hi, you ok?
H: Yeah, but listen. Don't. Freak. Out. and PLEASE dont' make a scene there in front of all our friends...don't make a big deal...
R: WHAT'S GOING ON?
H: I'm about to call the Dr. E. I think she will probably say to come in to the hospital and I want you here when she calls back. Please drive slowly, it's raining, be careful. This is probably nothing, I'm sure I'm just imagining. But I'm calling Dr. E now.
R: WHAT'S GOING ON? I'm coming home.
H: OK. Please be careful.
(I now realize how ridiculous my request was to "calmly say good-bye and leave the party to get home NOW without looking freaked out or freaking anyone else out" Calmly? Yeah, uh, right.)
I called the doctor's answering service. The conversations goes like this.
H: I'm a patient of Dr. E. Hoping she can call me back.
AS: (after getting my name and number) Is this your first pregnancy? What's the problem?
H: uh, erm, no. I'm having contractions.
AS: How many weeks?
H: Almost 21.
AS: AND YOU'RE IN LABOR?!
H: I hope not.
AS: Paging the doctor now.
R comes home. He is numb and has a look of fear in his eyes. I'm sure me lying in bed crying didn't help calm him. I tried to dry up my tears and make small talk...and he tried to figure out if I was really having contractions.
So Dr. W calls back. Of course the one doctor in the practice I have not met yet. sigh. I have to retell the whole story of losing T&O. The cerclage with this pregnancy blah blah blah. She says to write down or keep track of when I'm having contractions. If it's more than four an hour. Call her back. She'll want me to come in.
The first nine mintues after hanging up. I have three contractions. Lower back starts hurting again. This is not happening. Deep breath. Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath. 22 minutes of nothing. And then they start up again. Five more in the next 25 minutes. OMG. This is NOT happening.
Call the doctor back. She returns the call within 10 mintues. "Meet me at the hospital. In Labor and delivery." ugh. Labor and delivery. ugh.
R and I both are having the worst case of deja vu. Waiting in triage for a nurse. I realize it's the same nurse from last year. This is not happening. Thankfully, before the nurse takes me back, my doctor arrives. THIS was not what happened last year. Ok Things are a little different. She was so amazing and did her best to calm us both. Thank god we changed to this practice. She even told me that the anxiety I was feeling was completely normal and not to worry that I called her in on a rainy Saturday night. That was her job and of course I did the right thing.
The hooked me up to a monitor and they got the sono machine out and ready to check both the baby and my cervix. I knew the bub was fine, he had been tumbling this whole time. Of course the contractions had almost completely stopped. I was starting to feel like Chicken Little. But was hoping that was the worst that would come out this.
Dr. W checked my cervix. No blood, long and closed, stitch looks good. Visually it was perfect. phew.
Bub checked out just fine. Heartbeat looks fine, he's movin' and shakin' in there. phew. phew.
Out comes my bestest friend the dildo cam. Cervix still measuring the same as last Thursday. NO funnelling. phew. phew. phew.
The monitor is picking up what the doctor called "uterine irratibility" She said this could just be my baseline and be completely normal for me. She wasn't sure what the back pain meant, it could be a number of things. But some people do experience back labor. I never had a contraction in the hospital like I was having at home. She said some people have a "witching hour" where they seem to contract more than any other time of day. Maybe this was mine. The good news is that they don't seem to be changing my cervix at all. phew. pheeeeeeeeew.
She said we were good for now. My next goal should be getting to 28 weeks. Then 32, then 34. She is sure that "You won't feel comfortable until you have a baby in your hands" Wow. She gets it! phew. But she felt that everything seems to be so far so good. Wants me to call Dr. E on Monday and assumes I will be checked weekly again. Which is just fine with me. I wasn't sure I could go two weeks anyway.
So back home. Back in bed. Gatorade & H2O being pumped full force. R and H feeling a little better. Back to deep breaths. So thankful we are with this new practice. That they never make me feel like I'm some neurotic pregnant woman. That they are taking this pregnancy very seriosuly and not leaving any room for chance.
Day by day. Day by day.
I woke early in the a.m. with a lower back ache. Exactly the same lower back ache I had the first night in the hospital last year. You know, the one that indicated my cervix was opening. Got up to pee. No blood, no strange discharge. phew. 'Deep breath, deep breath, deeeeeeeeeeeeep breath. This is probably nothing. You're just freaking out. It could be just your imagination. It's so freaking early. Go. Back. To. Sleep. Wait, go drink some gaotrade, take half a percoset (dr. approved) and then try to relax.' I did all these things and it seemed to work. I woke up several hours later and felt fine, great really. R woke up and got busy organizing and helping fix my bed rest set up. I got busy and finished some work that I didn't get to last week. All was just a-ok.
But. In the back of mind, under all the ok feelings, there was still the chatter, the doubting Heather, and she would NOT. SHUT. UP. Deep breath. deeeeeeep breath.
R left to go to a friend's bbq birthday...not wanting to really leave me, but I insisted. So he left and then the contractions started.
The chatter was now more of a scream in my head. The deep breaths were losing their power. I kept pounding the water, pounding the gatorade. Desperately trying not to have a full blown anxiety attack. I took a hot shower. Isn't that what people do when they are in the early stages of labor? OMG. Get out of the shower. Get back off my feet. Deep breath, deeeeeeeeeep breath. Ok. Debate, do I call R and freak him the fuck out in the middle of a party? I'm positive he will tell me to call the doctor immediately. So I opt to do that first. Then it occurrs to me that she will probably want me to come to the hospital NOW. I'm over that 20 week mark where they can give me drugs to stop the contractions (if they are REALLY happening) So rather than wait, I call R on his cell. The conversation went something like this:
H: Hi.
R: Hi, you ok?
H: Yeah, but listen. Don't. Freak. Out. and PLEASE dont' make a scene there in front of all our friends...don't make a big deal...
R: WHAT'S GOING ON?
H: I'm about to call the Dr. E. I think she will probably say to come in to the hospital and I want you here when she calls back. Please drive slowly, it's raining, be careful. This is probably nothing, I'm sure I'm just imagining. But I'm calling Dr. E now.
R: WHAT'S GOING ON? I'm coming home.
H: OK. Please be careful.
(I now realize how ridiculous my request was to "calmly say good-bye and leave the party to get home NOW without looking freaked out or freaking anyone else out" Calmly? Yeah, uh, right.)
I called the doctor's answering service. The conversations goes like this.
H: I'm a patient of Dr. E. Hoping she can call me back.
AS: (after getting my name and number) Is this your first pregnancy? What's the problem?
H: uh, erm, no. I'm having contractions.
AS: How many weeks?
H: Almost 21.
AS: AND YOU'RE IN LABOR?!
H: I hope not.
AS: Paging the doctor now.
R comes home. He is numb and has a look of fear in his eyes. I'm sure me lying in bed crying didn't help calm him. I tried to dry up my tears and make small talk...and he tried to figure out if I was really having contractions.
So Dr. W calls back. Of course the one doctor in the practice I have not met yet. sigh. I have to retell the whole story of losing T&O. The cerclage with this pregnancy blah blah blah. She says to write down or keep track of when I'm having contractions. If it's more than four an hour. Call her back. She'll want me to come in.
The first nine mintues after hanging up. I have three contractions. Lower back starts hurting again. This is not happening. Deep breath. Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath. 22 minutes of nothing. And then they start up again. Five more in the next 25 minutes. OMG. This is NOT happening.
Call the doctor back. She returns the call within 10 mintues. "Meet me at the hospital. In Labor and delivery." ugh. Labor and delivery. ugh.
R and I both are having the worst case of deja vu. Waiting in triage for a nurse. I realize it's the same nurse from last year. This is not happening. Thankfully, before the nurse takes me back, my doctor arrives. THIS was not what happened last year. Ok Things are a little different. She was so amazing and did her best to calm us both. Thank god we changed to this practice. She even told me that the anxiety I was feeling was completely normal and not to worry that I called her in on a rainy Saturday night. That was her job and of course I did the right thing.
The hooked me up to a monitor and they got the sono machine out and ready to check both the baby and my cervix. I knew the bub was fine, he had been tumbling this whole time. Of course the contractions had almost completely stopped. I was starting to feel like Chicken Little. But was hoping that was the worst that would come out this.
Dr. W checked my cervix. No blood, long and closed, stitch looks good. Visually it was perfect. phew.
Bub checked out just fine. Heartbeat looks fine, he's movin' and shakin' in there. phew. phew.
Out comes my bestest friend the dildo cam. Cervix still measuring the same as last Thursday. NO funnelling. phew. phew. phew.
The monitor is picking up what the doctor called "uterine irratibility" She said this could just be my baseline and be completely normal for me. She wasn't sure what the back pain meant, it could be a number of things. But some people do experience back labor. I never had a contraction in the hospital like I was having at home. She said some people have a "witching hour" where they seem to contract more than any other time of day. Maybe this was mine. The good news is that they don't seem to be changing my cervix at all. phew. pheeeeeeeeew.
She said we were good for now. My next goal should be getting to 28 weeks. Then 32, then 34. She is sure that "You won't feel comfortable until you have a baby in your hands" Wow. She gets it! phew. But she felt that everything seems to be so far so good. Wants me to call Dr. E on Monday and assumes I will be checked weekly again. Which is just fine with me. I wasn't sure I could go two weeks anyway.
So back home. Back in bed. Gatorade & H2O being pumped full force. R and H feeling a little better. Back to deep breaths. So thankful we are with this new practice. That they never make me feel like I'm some neurotic pregnant woman. That they are taking this pregnancy very seriosuly and not leaving any room for chance.
Day by day. Day by day.
posted by girlh at
10:07 AM
11 Comments:
((((Heather))))
Loads of hugs and peaceful, calming vibes coming your way.
oh my sweet jaysus, how frightening for both of you. i am so sorry you had such a scare...and even though all's well, it must have been so hard emotionally to get through that.
doctor sounds like a dream.
xo
jacks
(((Heather))) Thank God you are all okay. How scary! I'm so glad you have such a wonderful practice taking care of you! Sending you lots of peaceful energy.
Take gentle care,
Danniah
((((((Heather)))))))
Oh my dear - thinking of you and R and sending you both and bubs loads of calming vibes and strength.
So glad you have a practice now that knows how to take special care of you!!
hugs and hugs.
My heart was racing just reading your post, I felt the deja vu and the terror you must have been feeling. I'm sending loads of calming vibes to you and R & bubs, and praying that it was just one bad day out of a lot of uneventful ones to come. xxx
Phew. Phew. Phew. Love the new practice. I too felt like *I* was having a panic attack just reading your post.
Bub, you need to stay put! Stop worrying your Mommy & Daddy.
Big Hugs for both of you.
Oh my god, H, I was terrified reading that whole post. Trying to breathe.
Love you girlie. You are getting the best care and bed rest is totally what you need.
Oh man, I'm all shaky.
I'm sending that uterus of yours many orders to stop being so twitchy!
love,
Bel
Oh Heather, my heart was in my mouth the whole time reading your post. I can't tell you how relieved I am that all is OK. And I am so fantastically impressed with your practice who understand and will get that little bub into your arms safe and well.
calm and peaceful vibes to you and R, non twitchy vibes to that uterus of yours and loads of tumbling vibes to little bub.
love you girlie
Heather - Big Hugs to you and Rolyn. How incredibly scary for you both. I'm so glad everything checked out okay and I'm even more glad that your doctors are taking such good care of all of you.
hugs & kisses ~
Jodi
Oh Heather, my heart is pounding. Thanks heavens all is ok. I'm so glad you have such wonderful doctors there for you. Sending you loads of calming thoughts to your uterus and sending you loads of hugs sweetie.
mysie
xxxx
Oh God Heather, even though I knew ahead of time all was alright, I was crying reading this post, just scared out of my pants. I can't even imagine how you guys felt.
SOOOOOOOOOOo glad you have this doctor. She was meant for you. SHE ROCKS!!!! Sending her rocking Wolf Pack Howls because she is da bomb. Hang in there, girl. So many peaceful love coming your way.
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